A river of tears, and then a God wink!

Yesterday was probably one of the hardest days of my life, and I've face some doozies in my day! I left home at 6:30am to purchase the much anticipate iPhone for Verizon. I had waited for this day for a long time, and was so excited to get my hands on that phone! As I backed out of my garage, I saw my old Jack Russell friend, Spud, walk out of the garage onto the snow covered grass to "do his business". It had snowed once again night before last, leaving abo ut an inch of that cold white stuff on the ground. As I watched Spud my dad asked if I was going to wait for him to go back in the garage and close the door, but I told him no...that I was in a hurry to get to Verizon. Spud would do his business, and I felt certain due to the cold and snow he would hurry back inside and curl up in his w arm little bed.

A few hours later we returned home with my iPhone in hand. Spud wasn't in his warm little bed though, however I didn't worry too much. He liked going to the hay barn and snuggling up in warm hay. I came in the house and sat down at the computer, where I began to figure out this crazy phone. All of sudden my dad began frantically beating the window by my desk. My desk overlooks the front porch of my house and a beautiful little gold fish pond I build with my own two hands last year. It's what I look at every day, most of the day as I work at my desk. Dad beat on the window yelling, and it suddenly sank in what he was saying. "Spud fell in the pond!". I jumped to my feet, ran out the front door, and there was my sweet baby of 16 years dead by the pond. He was blind in one eye as he was aging, and apparently while I was gone he must have stumbled off in that cold, icy water while "doing his business". My heart dropped right along with my entire body as I fell face down on the snowy concrete and just wailed, uncontrollably. All I could think of was how scared he must have been, how cold, how he must have been desperately looking for me to save him...and I wasn't there. I was shopping for a stupid phone.
I will never forgive myself.

I met Spud as a teen ager. My mom had purchased him for me as a 2 day old puppy in Fort Walton Beach, FL. I remember being so excited as I drove down that Thanksgiving to visit my new puppy. By that time he was only 3 weeks old. I begged the lady to let me go ahead and take him, which she did. I bottle fed him until he started eating solid food. Spud went to every ou t of town horse show with me. Slept in my bed for years. He even went on our beach vacations. He was there when Gracie was born and adored her. He was a huge part of my heart, and always will be. He was not a wild spastic Jack Russell. He was very laid back, and beautiful. He produced puppies that I shipped all over the country, so hopefully his legacy lives on forever.

Please pray for my family as we miss our boy. One cool thing God did for me though, as I cried all day yesterday I turned on my favorite preacher lady...Joyce Meyer. She preached on how Job and Joseph really had a hard time, but point being God blessed the second half of their lives more than the first. How God gave them "double for their trouble" and made the second half of their life better than the first. She said "I beg of you, those of you watching on tv, you must say I don't
care how I feel, I will NOT let this ruin the rest of my life, I'm releasing this to God and I'm going to trust him to do something with it!". Then, the next thing I saw on the TV screen was ME! Without even realizing it, this was the episode of the conference I had attended last April in Chattanooga. Now, if that wasn't God himself making a point directly to me, I don't know what was! God is so good. I paused the TIVO and took a picture of what I saw. Yep...surprised me too! What were the odds that the very episode of the conference I had attended LAST APRIL, would have finally aired yesterday. On a day I had cried out to God, and basically told God I hurt so bad for so many reasons...I was tired of going on. I believe this was like a hug from God...think of the odds that this would show along with that message at that moment. What a cool God wink! ;)